The most interesting thing about The X Factor (Channel Seven, 7.30pm) is that it hasn't got one. An X-factor, I mean. It's basically Australian Idol but with a twist - and the twist is that it really is basically Australian Idol.
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Actually that's not quite fair: the main difference between the X Factor and Idol franchises is that The X Factor spends far less time letting us laugh at deluded fools.
Idol's habit of dedicating much of the first few weeks of each season to humiliating the talentless was cruel, but wonderfully entertaining: The X Factor gives us only snippets of failure, which is less cruel and less entertaining.
Instead, we get great splodges of backstory, as every contestant tells us about their life on the streets, or their dead grandmother, or their disabled dog, or their leprous ferret, or whatever tragedy has been thrust into their path to stardom.
It is far less a singing competition than a battle for the biggest sobs: will ''in remission from leukaemia'' beat ''both parents eaten by lions''? Can ''born with no arms'' overcome ''children will never love me unless I win''?
What is interesting about the evolution of TV talent shows is not just that the focus is lessening on the singing and increasing on the backstories: shows like The X Factor are nowadays less about the contestants and more about the judges. Casting of the judges is absolutely crucial to generate the right mix of sweetness, outrageousness and conflict. Viewers need a judge to cheer for and a judge to boo, and it's vital that the show contain frequent arguments as to the merits of a particular contestant.
The X Factor's judging panel is finely calibrated: the fresh-faced, down-to-earth charm of Ronan Keating rubbing up against the emotional zaniness of Redfoo (pictured); the polished glamour of Dannii Minogue contrasting with whatever it is that Natalie Bassingthwaighte is. I suppose she's there because every talent show needs a judge who you forget exists for long periods of time. Just like Redfoo is there because every talent show needs one judge who wears shorts for unknown reasons.
Wednesday sees the end of the audition phase for The X Factor, so finally we can move on to judges pretending to care about singers' lives. Happily, the laughing-gas-infused audience will continue to scream no matter what.
Of course some people love singing but hate it when it's done by adults, and for those people there is The Voice Kids (Nine, 7.30pm). With littlies belting out their best Celine Dion and Josh Groban impressions, there's even less chance of judges being honest than on the grown-up version. But it does throw up some interesting dilemmas: like, would you trust the Madden brothers with your children?
