Domestic violence may one day become a thing of the past if we continue to stand up and take action to end it.
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That was the overriding message of yesterday’s White Ribbon Day march and ceremony where a large crowd gathered to show their support for ending violence against women.
Students from Forbes High School and senior students from Forbes Public School and Forbes North Public School participated in the march, along with a number of community groups, Northparkes Mine staff, police, council staff and White Ribbon Day ambassadors and guest speakers.
“Thank you to everyone participating in today’s march,” mayor Phyllis Miller said at the ceremony at Victoria Park following the march.
“Domestic violence is unacceptable and participating in this event today is showing that you can make a difference.”
Mayor Miller said it is unfortunate that Forbes is ranked in the top 20 local government areas for domestic violence related assaults.
“It’s ranked number 12 - this is unacceptable,” she said.
“Just last month there have been eight reported domestic violence related assaults.
“By being here today, you’re all helping to make a change.
“If we all work together we can certainly put a stop to domestic violence.”
Member for Orange Andrew Gee also attended the march and said that the day was about letting everyone know that as a community and as a society, we don’t accept domestic violence.
“One of the issues we’ve had with domestic violence in the past is that it’s often been a hidden crime, something people don’t want to talk about,” he said.
“That mindset has led to the very high rates we’ve seen of domestic violence, particularly in the central west.”
Mr Gee said while police deal with domestic violence on a day-to-day basis, “the rest of the community needs to be made aware that this is happening in our community and it needs to stop”.
“You’re the hope of the future,” he said to the students.
“Go forward and spread the word that domestic violence is not acceptable.”
Lachlan Local Area Command Superintendent Chris Taylor presented the crowd with the alarming statistics and said that in the past five years, domestic violence related assault, physical assault and sexual assault has been increasing.
“In 2014-15 here in the Forbes Shire we have had 83 domestic violence related assaults - that’s one every four days,” he said.
“The statistics have unfortunately not improved.
“One in five people believe domestic violence can be excused if people get so angry they lose control. This is a belief we must change.”
Ultramarathon runner Kirrily Dear was the special guest speaker for the day and said it was a pleasure to be back in Forbes a year after finishing her gruelling 860km run.
“After 12 days of the toughest running I’ve ever done to arrive here was truly amazing and it’s a privilege to be back here,” she said.
Kirrily told the crowd a little about her experiences since completing her ultramarathon and said she couldn’t believe how much change we’ve seen over this 12 month period.
“It is quite amazing what can happen when we put one foot in front of the other and start taking steps,” she said.
“Changing attitudes and men’s behaviour...is all about lots and lots of little steps.”
One of the most profound things that Kirrily said happened to her since her ultramarathon was a couple of days after she had got home she received an email from one of her neighbours, who was a former perpetrator of violence against his wife, telling her about his past.
That neighbour, Jerry Retford, has since spoken up and told his story to a number of news outlets including the ABC, the Project on Channel 10 and Channel 9.
“It shows that grown men can change,” Kirrily said of Jerry’s reform.
“When we stop the violence now, it stops forever.
“That’s how we can put an end to violence in our community.”
Kirrily also illustrated how important our “little” community march was in creating change.
“If you hadn’t taken that step to do your march, I wouldn’t have come to Forbes and if I hadn’t come to Forbes, Jerry wouldn’t have told his story, etc.
“All that has happened because you do your march.
“Keep up with it. You really can put an end to violence in your community.”
A special part of the White Ribbon Day ceremony on Wednesday was the swearing in of new White Ribbon ambassador Barry Merritt, who shared his own personal story.
“It’s something very close to my heart,” Barry said.
“I first started witnessing domestic violence since I was eight with my stepfather to my mother.
“I also saw it with my own dad.
“I was told by my aunty that I was going to be like my dad.
“This was one small part I didn’t want to be like him.”
Barry said what his aunt told him has stayed with him and throughout his relationship with his wife he was worried he would end up hurting her the same way his father hurt his partner.
“I’ve been with my wife for over 32 years and I am proud to say that I am one of the 70 per cent of men that didn’t offend [after being exposed to domestic violence as a child].
“The message I want to get through today is to be yourself.
“Just because they say you’re going to do something, doesn’t mean you have to.”